This one time when I was about 13 I got swine flu and had to stay off school for 2 weeks. While I was off somebody spread a rumour that I wasn’t there because I’d been hit by a truck and died. So when I came back into school I walked into English class and everybody started screaming and I cried.
(Source: yankeedooodle, via pumpkins-demons-and-skeletons)
My idea of heaven consists of all the things I would go to hell for.
This is actually the most accurate thing I’ve seen all day
#NO #BAD FANDOM #BAD #YOU’RE GROUNDED
OH IT’S BECAUSE THIS THING IS MAKING ITS ROUNDS AGAIN DAMMIT
(Source: purgatoilet-archived, via i-am-the-almighty-moose)
Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
Soda just spewed out my nose
THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST
(Source: mintyboob, via i-am-the-almighty-moose)
burns every piece of evidence that shows i lived before the age of 14
literally how does anyone not believe in aliens
are u really so anthropocentric that you think there are millions and billions and trillions of light years of the ever expanding universe but we’re the only life to possibly exist smh
do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep
Don’t you hate it when there’s a perfect opportunity for lesbians and the writers just don’t?
It’s even worse when there’s a perfect opportunity for lesbians and the writers want to but can’t